2.2.11

we interupt this blog...

1. Woman, Portrait, Serbia, 2. Reykjavík, Iceland, 3. Sad or happy tears?, 4. Sad Woman - Traurige Frau, 5. something has changed, 6. 268/365, 7. Shandi-lee X {pieces I}, 8. Black and White :), 9. jolie fille pleure NB

No 365 up-date today.  Lastnight I may have had my first proper I'm-hormonal-and-pregnant-and-feeling-overwhelmed-by-life meltdown.  What started as a simple misunderstanding of a letter from the bank became a 'I'm never going to be able to learn German' thing and then 'Why doesn't the internet ever work at home?' before it descended into 'We need to buy drawers/cot/pusher/baby bath/nursing chair... do you have any idea how much stuff babies need?  And I need new clothes...immediately because all my clothes make me feel fat and my breasts hurt and have you seen how much baby clothes cost? maybe you can just wrap them in blankets until they're... umm... say 18 and oh boy, I really don't think we're ready for this and it's only six months away which will go like that and now it's 8.30pm and we still haven't eaten and I'm hungry and cold, Why is it so cold today? and are you laughing at me because I really don't think this is funny and you might pretend that you're co-pregnant but I don't see you waking up in the night to go to the toilet!'

Um... yeah... I kinda freaked out.

After my little outburst I listened to sad music, received lots of hugs and soft cooing sounds about how it would be alright and went to bed feeling sorry for myself but much better about life in general.  Today I feel great again. Ah, the pregnancy roller-coaster.

So no 365. Instead some inspiration from the Flickr pool somehow reflecting how I felt last night.

23 comments:

Krystal said...

I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE PREGNANT!! I totally missed that, whaaaa??
Congratulations!! I'm sorry you are feeling so bad...today is a new day right?

Li + Belle said...

Oh pregnant, that's great! This is already so long ago ... but I remember well that I sometimes felt bad. But that disappeared every time - but that will not really help you, sorry.:(

Kristina said...

Me too!! I somehow also missed that you are pregnant!!! Congratulations!!!!!
I hope your day is a nice one and that you are feeling better!
And, btw, great set of photographs!
xx Kristina

HRANDICA said...

Jp, this kind of moments come every now and than in pregnancy and after:)). The child takes your time, your privacy, your life. But it also takes your heart and when it's there, inspite all, you can not imagine to live without. It's a part of you.I wish you all the best.
Hugs♥

Diana Mieczan said...

Ohh I also missed that you are pregnant...Congrats!!!!! Im glad that you are feeling better today, my dear
Kisses

Franca said...

oh, I'm not the only one who missed your pregnancy news! congratulations! I hope you feel better now. We plan to try for a baby in a year or so, and already the money thing is freaking me out no end. but it will be fine, these things always are!

At the very latest you will learn german when your child does! It's my only hope for my husband to be ever learning it!

Anika said...

HA!! Welcome to early nesting ;) It gets better.
Just keep in mind that really all your little one will need is a place to sleep and something to eat. There are a TON of items other than that to make your and M's life easier and more comfortable but your baby will be happy just being with you. (Oh and LOTS of diapers.)
Hang in there
xoxo

Allana said...

Oh I remember those feelings - I had some today and Ella is 4 in a few weeks haha. Pregnancy Hormones are intense but they need to be to create the little life inside. Everything WILL work out, you have time :) x

Eva @ Four Leaf Clover said...

: ( I'm sorry! I'm so glad you've feeling better today and I hope you don't have very many more of those days!

Jamie said...

First - a huge congratulations!

I hope today is a little better.

Corrisande said...

Grats on being pregnant :) I don't know about your place, but here we have lots of lovely 2nd hand baby-clothes stores selling perfect and beautiful baby-clothes - lots of people I know buy/bought things there, and I would do it too. Maybe that'll help?

I hope you feel better soon!

Stella said...

I love what HRANDICA said, beautiful and so true! I love this post, I can totally relate! I still have those meltdowns occasionally, but with not quite the same fire I had when I was pregnant.

Kelly said...

Oh Clare, I remember those days! Just be kind to yourself - rest if you can, eat well, pamper yourself!

Oh, P.S., don't get in a tizzy about all the stuff - the baby really just needs you and diapers for the first several months! And people are going to buy you so many tiny outfits as gifts!

urban muser said...

who knew you were preggers? seems like a lot of us were in the dark :) hope you are feeling better! congrats.

Ima said...

Congratulations with your pregnancy! Sorry I know nothing about the roller-coaster mood you have when you pregnant since I'm only 16, but I hope things will get better soon and you will be happy again! :)

Margaret Bednar said...

Love it. I have six kids and I will give you a word of advice. Forget about fancy clothes when they are babies. They love white onesies and socks and blankets. Cheaper and they are happy! Little girls HATE skirts because they can't crawl and boys like the freedom of air on their skin. My three year old still takes ALL his clothes off but underwear as soon as he walks in the door! Crazy. Glad you feel better this morning! :)

justine said...

well when we had our daughter (nearly 20 years ago) we had absolutely nothing and just forget all that nonsense about needing change tables and baby baths etc, we bathed Alice in the laundry tub for the first few months then held her in the bath and never got a baby bath even when Harry came along 2 years later. We never had a change table either, just a mat and changed them on the bed, everything really can be taken back to basics and if you didn't have hormones flying around there would be something wrong! and why do you need a nursing chair??? just get one of those weird pillows (like a boomerang) and then you are propped up in bed and comfy. Anyway, that is my two pence worth!

Kat Sloma said...

Aaaaah, the craziness of pregnancy. I never had any cravings for food but I sure was an emotional roller coaster. I love how you wrote this, you captured it perfectly. Congratulations to you as well!

And I agree with Justine - there is a whole industry trying to convince you to buy the stuff you MUST HAVE and you really can live without, and your baby will be fine regardless. The nursing pillow, however, is a must in my opinion. :)

shopgirl said...

I know how you feel about trying to learn a new language. That's how I feel about Italian. Good luck with it and Congratulations on being pregnant!

You have a very sweet blog and I look forward to reading some older posts.
Cheers! Rambles with Reese

ELK said...

so very happy for the both of you !! you will have days like this and you did the right thing ..go with the feelings and ride it out...deep breath! may I just add that babys really do not need alot of stuff..just a loving mommy and I would say you can check that off the list!

Dorian Susan said...

Clare...I had no idea. I'm sorry you had a yucky day and am glad you have rebounded. Congratulations to you!! Having never been pregnant, I can't relate, but I imagine all those spiking horomones and changes are difficult. I understand it's all worth it on the other side.
Love your post and ability to let it out with a touch of humor. Feel well please.

Jen said...

Congrats!!! That's very exciting! :-)

Jen said...

awwww. sorry you feel hormonal. hope you get through it soon. I hate my hormones! ha. I like your choices of pics too.